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Buster Takes In An Avalanche Game With Zany Results

9th April, 2007 - 8:47 pm

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By Buster Gunning

Buster Gunning happily regales the tale of his first ever Hockey match, an exciting 3-0 Colorado Avalanche loss to the Vancouver Canucks.

The evening started innocent enough with a burrito at Illegal Petes. After being thrown out for lewd and indecent behavior, I stumbled over to the Pepsi Center to take in my first ever Hockey game. I met up with my party, a group of highly important International clients and such and headed to my seats, stopping first for a sneaky Crown and Coke.

The game was electrifying, all that ice, all those guys wearing skates and the perpetual ballyhoo provided by the fans. Not knowing who any of the players were, I managed to cuss them out just the same. When that was not effective I tore open a pack of D batteries I purchased at the concession stand and starting hurling them mercilessly at the skaters below. Unfortunately, there was a big pane of glass that blocked my batteries’ path. To this day, I am still not sure why they have that glass.

Anyway, nothing really happened until the middle of the third quarter. It was during this time that the Canucks scored a goal, taking advantage of an Avalanche team with only 3 players on the ice court. Apparently, the others were too tired to play and needed a rest.

Sadly there were not fights and very little violence. Checking my ticket, I realized that I would not get a refund so I went home.

Is Buster losing it? Did he ever have it? Buster.Gunning@realgm.com

The preceding article was a piece of satirical fiction.

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